Wholeness in the face of circumstances
We are bigger than our circumstances. Resilience is what makes us stay the course and break through when most have given up. What keeps the athlete get back up up and finish the race. The grits to believe in betterment and solutions. Faith in being bigger than any circumstance. Resilience is the difference between breaking down and bouncing back. No matter how skilled and successful we are, no matter at what stage of our becoming we stand, and how wonderful our life is, somewhere, some time in the unfolding of our existence, tremendous challenges that we did not expect disturb and disrupt the flow. As well, no matter how settled, careful and predictable our daily life can be, enormous stress and unexpected hardship is a circumstance away. We are all called to face un-wished for turns of fate one day or another. Accident, loss, disease, natural catastrophe, terrorrism and even war, are impacting lives all over the world. On a smaller scale but exhausting due to repetition, the abrasive small disasters of daily life affect us in many ways. It's part of being alive and Earth bond and we are all exposed to various trials during our life time. Attitude is what makes a big difference in the outcome. Resilience, or ability to see through the temporary ordeal and keep it together is what pulls us through. Being resilient permits us to survive and come out stronger. The good news is that we can BECOME resilient. One doesn't have to be born with it. It's not like blue eyes or a baritone voice... Like all other skills, resilience can be built and developped. How does one build resilience? Though sometimes hardship happens "out of the blue", it's most likely that one is being challenged on a small scale quite often. I'm talking about grinding little events like car breakdown, broken limb, missed plane, disagreement with a lover, childhood common illness or even spilling one's coffee all over the urgent file ready to go... Things happen. Whatever is happening... pause. Take 3 big breaths. Assess the real damage and decide on the spot that you are going to find a way through it.
You may not know how yet, but decide you will. Remind yourself that it will pass. Everything is temporary. Accept that it is happening and that you are able to get through it. Focus on what you can do immediately and do it. No lamenting, no regretting, no sorriness, no begrudging. Take action right away where action can be taken. Do it calmly and start pondering solutions if further steps are required. (Calling for help IS an action). Give thanks for being still alive and knowing there is an unseen gift for you in it. Receive instead of resisting, then adapt. Again and again. Every time something (even a small annoyance) gets in your way... apply this sequence of thinking and doing: Pause - Acceptance - Assessment - Action - Plan - Gratitude In the case of a big coffee spill these take place in very rapid succession and next thing you know, it's over and you re-printed the file. For life altering events it might take a few days but it's the same process... Whatever it is do not indulge in self-pity, in complaining about how unfair it is, blaming who is responsible, moaning about how hard it makes your day, or how exerting it is or will be. Instead, tell yourself that everything happening WILL pass and will deliver something for you to grow stronger and happier if you look for it. Affirm that it's gonna be all right. Believe that it is part of your perfect becoming. Already imagine the relief of being through and whole. We can go only forward; best is to keep moving Note that accepting is not giving up! It is only accepting that "it is what it is" and that you can only go forward from there. This mental attitude by itself permits you to move faster and not waste any time or energy in trying to change the past. Look forward. Give yourself permission to appreciate Life, no matter what. A life without contrast would be bland and devoid of growth. Resilience is like a muscle and you will develop it. I guarantee it. I believe you can Much love ~ Emmeline